Notes on Pumpkin Chunkin or, Distract to Win
t's no cow flinging, but Pumpkin Chunkin has become an American past time and sport that has gotten more complex throughout the years. So has war. And by war I mean the little every day wars that we face. You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones between you and your older brother or sister. The ones you have with your crazy neighbor, or with that guy named Sean who mows your lawn and shreds your garden hose every darn time without the slightest concern. The ones you have with your friends, who you thought were your friends but you found out they're really not your friends, because they love Justin Bieber.
We don't always get things right. Do we play the offensive? Defensive? How do we win in questionable times like these?
There's only one thing you can do during these times. Turn to Jack Handy for some good, solid, thoughtful advice.
"If you are ever in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. It will make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them." Jack Handy (American writer - Saturday Nite Live, famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches).
There's a lot to be said about the power of a pumpkin you know. There's a reason why we chunk them, smash them, take our knives to them. There's a reason why Mr. Handy would have you throw them at the enemy.
In China, Pumpkin (南瓜; nánguā) is the symbol for prosperity, abundance, descendant's luck, illustrious children, enchantment. Not to mention, this fruit draws earth energy to manifest gold. In other parts of the world, pumpkins are special because they are round. When we eat their seeds our bodies fill with wonderful nutrients and minerals. Their seeds also hold a plethora of medicinal qualities.
So if pumpkins hold such wonderful symbolism to people all over the world, why in tar-nation would we do all these crazy things to and with them? At the very least, why would we be throwing little pumpkins at our enemies?
I think that's the point Mr. Handy is making (I did say his advice would be thoughtful). You see, by throwing ( or as I like to say, offering) the other side an army of, say, descendant's luck, nutrition, or round shapes, it's like you're throwing their guard off, making them think you're being all generous, kind, and sweet. They'll get all sentimental and soft on you.
And that, my friends, is when you get 'em where it hurts. Game over.
